


Horrors From A Life Long Gone

by maxximovssolo



Category: Black Panther (2018), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Shuri Has A Heart Of Gold, Sleeping Together, Wrongly Directed Anger
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-03-05 07:12:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18823711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maxximovssolo/pseuds/maxximovssolo
Summary: Shuri comforts Bucky after a nightmare..





	Horrors From A Life Long Gone

Bucky jolted awake with a gasp. His heart pounding loudly in his ears. Drenched in cold sweat. He quickly scanned the room for danger, adrenaline rushing through his being. Much to his relief. He wasn't being tortured by hydra back in Siberia. Like he was in the horrific images that had flashed before his eyes just seconds before.

He was in his bedroom, in the Wakandan royal palace. He huffed and sunk his shoulders at the realization. Finding comfort in the warm yellow glow of city lights out of his window. It was just another nightmare. Thank god. 

Bucky rolled over to check the time.

_3:57_

He let out a frustrated groan, running his fingers through his long hair. Then resting his tear stained face in his trembling hands. Even though he was free from his programming, the trauma, guilt and pain was still there. It seemingly always would be.

Shuri had been working day and night to find away to also free him from his P.T.S.D. Believe it or not, that is easier said than done. So Bucky had to use less advanced methods for now. Swimming, meditation and so on.

Shuri would often remind him that when coping with trauma and anxiety some days will be better than others.

 

Suddenly Bucky heard a knock at his door that made him jump. He tried to pull himself together and wipe away his tears before getting up to open the door. 

He opened the door and was surprised to see Shuri standing before him, half asleep and still in her pajamas.

"Hey-is something wrong? It's almost 4am" Bucky asked, trying his best to act natural.

"That's the same thing I came over here to ask you, my kimoyo beads alerted me that your heart rate had spiked to over 190, are you ok?" Shuri asked, concern apparent on her face.

"I'm fine Shuri you can go back to b-hey you told me that you disabled that feature, you're spying on me now?" Bucky pried in an attempt to divert the conversation away from himself.

"Not spying James just doing my job, you're my friend but you were my patient first and its still my job to-" Shuri abruptly paused and squinted her eyes suspiciously. "Have you been crying?!?" She asked without skipping a beat.

"No.” Bucky mumbled.

"Then why are your eyes red then?" A look of annoyance grew on Shuri’s face as she folded her arms. 

"Because-“ Bucky trailed off, scouring is mind for a suitable excuse. One to hopefully fool a genius. Before he could come up with a lie, Shuri had already plowed through him and into his darkened room.

"You didn't have to come over here I'm fine." Bucky assured her. His lips were saying one things. His heart another. Shuri walked over to his big bay window with her hands gracefully clasped behind her back..

"James, I've known you long enough to know when you're lying" Shuri stated with her back facing him as she gazed at the city below.

Bucky exhaled deeply and plopped down onto his bed..

"Was it the nightmares again? I told you James that you don't have to keep pretending like you're okay." Shuri whispered.

"Yeah" Bucky admitted, "I don't know why they've come back recently." Bucky sighed.

"Well trauma is a fickle thing some days will be better than others, but things will get better I promise" Shuri reassured, gently grazing her petite fingers along the cool vibrainium of his cybernetic arm.

"It’s all too much. I feel like I’m drowning, constantly. I have no control. Every time.. I close my eyes, I see their faces.”

"You know that wasn't your fault." 

“But it is.”

”It isn’t.”

“Do you have any idea, ho hard it is to live with the fact that you've killed innocent people? That you’ve been brainwashed, taken advantage of, torture and robbed of the very thing that makes you, you. I can’t, I can’t-”

"You can! And you have been. Acceptance is the first step in healing.”

She'd known him for over a year, seen all of his memories. Seen him weak, broken and vulnerable. But never like this, she'd never seen him completely break down and fall into pieces. Years of bottled up emotions bubbling to the surface. She felt so helpless knowing that she couldn't just take all of his pain away.

"I don't even know why you waste your time with me.” Bucky croaked, staring down at his bare feet. 

“I ‘waist my time with you’ because I love you. And because everyone deserves a second chance.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, hope you enjoyed it. Kudos and comments are much appreciated, and feel free to give any tips or pointers. I'm new to writing fanfics and totally open to constructive criticism.


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